A ManDog Movie

The other night, MomDad came home from their Date Night and told me about this Giant TV Show (mom sez: it's actually a movie) that's coming out that's all about Chihuahuas like me! There's like millions of Chi's in this show and the hero even looks like me. See:


Now, clearly, my tail is much handsomer than that guy's (Mom calls it my curly-que-piggy-tail!) and I'm a little lighter in color but mostly we look kinda alike, don't you think?

I want to watch this show but it's only going to be showing at the Giant TV Show Store or something (mom sez: movie theater!). I don't like to go there because they don't have sofas and I only like to watch TV while on a sofa. So that's out. MomDad say that they'll bring home the show for me to watch in a year or so when it comes out on DeeVeeDee or something. Here's what it looks like when I'm getting ready to watch a show:
I'm waiting for some popcorn. I like that. It's my favorite. Nobody can watch a show without popcorn. I'm still waiting...

On the "Go"

Well.

I pretty much Go all the time now. Going is one of my favorite things to do. Here is how to properly Go in my house:

1. Watch MomDad very closely through one eye as you rest with the other eye closed. See if they start moving more quickly and gathering things like jackets, purses, water bottles and especially those jingly thingies by the garage door. OH! When they grab those jinglies that's when you know that Going is soon to follow!

2. If you see all that, wake your other eye up (the one that was closed and resting), jump off the couch (or sleeping place of your choice), run to the edge of the carpet just in front of the garage door and sit like a Very Good Boy.

3. Use your very best MomDad Can I Go Stare with your eyes and try to look Pathetic with the rest of your body. (I can't tell you how. It just comes naturally to me.)

4. If MomDad start talking to you in a friendly way be very careful. It could be a trick. They could be saying you're a Good Boy just for Sitting there like that but they may still not let you Go with them. That's pretty bad trickery and they think they're being Nice must mostly it's Cruel and Mean to do that.

5. Now this is when you should watch Mom very carefully. When Mom cocks her head just so and bats her eyelashes at Dad saying things that sound like begging (listen hard for something that starts with P and ends in Lease), that's a Very Good Sign! Keep it up. Maybe throw in a little Prance in a circle and then Sit back down like a Good Boy again! Or saunter over to Dad and nudge him lovingly, reminding him that you are his Favorite ManDog and then go back to that Sitting thing again.

6. At this point, they will probably be heading towards the door, cramming their bodies in the small "hallway" in front of the door. When you hear or see one of their hands on the handle, THAT'S THE TIME! STAY PUT! DO NOT BE A BADBOY! Stay Sitting and do not be a BadBoy! Just wait. It's out of your paws now...

7. If MomDad say something like, "Okay!" or "Let's Go!" or whatever your MomDad say to release you from your VeryGoodBoy Sitting pose (I have good schooling), then take off like a bat out of hell and race under their feet and into the garage. Be Very Fast in case they change their minds at the last minute.

8. Throughout all of this, if you have an Annoying Little Sister bouncing and trouncing around you the whole time, ignore her. Just pretend she doesn't exist. Tell her to back off if she is crowding you but don't be too Mean as to make MomDad get Mad and make you stay at home to work it out with your Little Sister. Ignore. Best advice I can give you.

So, like I said, I pretty much Go all the time now. Like for instance I Go'ed twice this week. It never really matters where you're Going To, as long as you get to Go. Staying in the car is OK but usually it is best is there are Snacks (aka "That" - I'll post more about That another time) to scavenge from the Front Seat. MomDad put a big barrier between the Front and Back Seats of our car and I don't care much for jumping cause of my sensative armpits so I don't even try to get past it. But Scarlett does. I saw her do it just the other day when we Go'ed. First she sneaked her little sneaker body over by Mom's seatbelt and got to her over her shoulder. Did that to Dad too while he was hanging out with us once in the parking lot (that was the OTHER time I Go'ed last week). But then as we were driving home, Scarlett just jumped right into that barrier thingie and climbed over it (after looking pathetically at Mom for help) and into Mom's lap! I couldn't believe it! The nerve of that crazy dog!

Speaking of HER, do you want to know what she's doing right this minute? Well. She has this HAUUUGE basket full of all her stupid toys in the living room where MomDad removed the coffee table just so she (and maybe me too) could have more room to Play. Well, right now she is climbing into that basket and pulling ALL of her stupid toys out one by one. She pulls one out, takes it a little ways away, shakes it then drops it and trollops back to the basket to repeat the whole shenannigin. How lame. I am lying here on the couch as Mom types up my dictation watching Scarlett Very Closely to see if she gets out any toys that I might want to play with or steal from her or whatever. Oooo! Look!! She's got BigBird! Gotta Go!!!!.......

At GrandpaDave's Farm and Resort

Scarlett and I are spending a couple weeks at GrandpaDave's while MomDad are on a much-needed vacation. GrandpaDave helped me write this blog post:

I’m Top Dog — at least in the house. Xena and Bear are way taller than me and G-Pa Dave says something about them weighing over 100 pounds each — BUT in the house I think I am the Alfredo Dog. G-Pa Dave calls me that —- I think —- he says it really fast and I don’t understand it real good. It is something like Alfabet Dog, Alfred Dog, Alfredo Dog, Alfa Dog — I don’t know but I like the sound of Alf redo Dog. That is kinda like being a hero all the time I think with all other dogs having to take orders from me. Real Cool! I wish I could be Alfredo Dog at home but mom says dad is the Alfredo Dog there.
Here at G-Pa Daves I have to break up fights. One of the cats is always picking a fight with Scarlet. She is innocent of all these incidents of course. She is just walking along most of the time real fast and a cat just gets in her way and then the cat cusses/spits at her and sometimes slaps her so she needs to defend herself. She carry’s her teeth concealed so she show them her teeth and cusses back at them real loud (that is when I wake up and realize my help is needed). Then the cat tries to get away and we have to chase it all over the house to punish it for cussing at Scarlet or touching her or what ever. I saw Lacy run faster than I thought any cat could run the first night we were here. It had to do something about who was top of the Foo Chair or Chain, or something like that: cats or dogs and Lacy slapped Scarlet because Scarlet thought it was dogs. Then Lacy tried to run away because she didn’t want to hear the truth and Scarlet had to chase her. I caught up with them in the bathroom where Lacy and Bob were held up in what G-Pa Dave calls ‘Bobs Fort’. Scarlet and Me could only cuss at them and they cussed/spit back — you know how cats do.
It is so much fun exploring G-Pa Daves yard — it is so BIG. Something like 3 acers or akers or something but it has all this really cool things to discover like turkey poo, old bones that Xena and Bear have hidden, bird feathers (kinda taste like furry chicken), and and —- the wild dogs!! There are these wild dogs that G-Pa Dave keeps telling us about. I must scare them off because we don’t ever see them. G-Pa Dave says they live outside the yard fence and if we (Scarlet, not me) go outside the fence they will kill and eat us. I don’t think so — not me of course– I can scare squirrels and cats and other dogs so these so called wild dogs wouldn’t be a match for me — I am a sophisticated city dog and have seen karate on TV when Dad is watching Super Ninja Competition or some. Anyway we all scared these so called wild dogs the other night. G-Pa Dave, Carol, Scarlet, Ophelia and me went out on the deck after dark and all 5 of us howled. We really scared those wild coyote dogs I guess because I still haven’t seen one — maybe they recognized my voice and ran.
Did I mention there is bird poop in the yard just laying there FREE for the tasting– turkey, guinea, and peacock. Scarlet and I tasted a lot of it the first evening we were here. We got sick and threw up.
I get to patrol the yard with the big dogs and bark and back them up when they bark at something. It is so much fun.
The squirrels in Highlands Ranch must have told the squirrels out here that I was coming because they all must have ran away. I can’t find any to discipline. There is something called a skun or skunk that G-Pa Dave talks about sometime. I think it is like a squirrel but it can’t climb trees or fences— it should be easier to catch. I can’t wait to chase one.
Well I gotta go — it is time to bark at the peacock — he likes to stand at the glass door and admire himself in the reflection. I don’t think he should do that.

Later,

Alfredo Dog — DOBBY

---------------a little while later--------------

I AM SO EMBARRESED! It is ALPHA DOG, NOT alfredo dog.
Geeze—

Dobby

I'm a HERO

Since I last posted, both Scarlett and I and the girls and Brudder had birfdays. I turned 5. Scarlett turned 1. The girls are now 12 and Brudder is 4. Whew.

Mom planted something called Catnip outside and every once in a while brings in these green leaves that smell awful to me but the kitties seem to like to sniff, roll around and eat them. It makes them crazy though. Makes them run around and play with their toys and look and act all goofy and stuff. Then they get all lovey-dovey with Mom and rub up on her and mew and stuff. It's weird. I think it's drugs. I just say no to that kind of stuff.

Every two weeks some people come to my house with rags and a scary SuckyMonster (vacuum) and then Mom takes me and Scarlett and keeps us locked up with her in the purple bedroom while these people roam around our house and talk and laugh and stuff. Then an hour or so later we get to come out and sniff around and everything's clean and sparkly and we're not allowed to mess stuff up and Scarlett's not allowed to take all of her toys out again until Mom forgets all about it later in the night or the next day. I'm telling you this because right now these people are here and I'm used to it. I just lie on the bed and half sleep/half stay alert to what's happening on the other side of the door. Scarlett runs around the room whining and carrying on, especially when those people are out there talking nice and sweet to Brudder then she gets jealous and really wants out there because she thinks she's cuter than Brudder and probably they would like to pet her and talk to her that way instead. Silly Scarlett.

Last weekend we got to go to GrandpaDave's house and explore and run around on his property. He has many acres and birds and a giant bird called an Emu and three goats. Mom took Scarlett and me to see the goats but they looked kind of skiddish to me so I stayed far away from them. Scarlett wanted to be close to Mom (always!) so she risked it and was closer to the goats. THey were fine though. Didn't hurt either one of them. Then we went back inside where GrandpaDave has kitties of his own in there and we're not allowed in the basement unless MomDad take us down there because there's yummy cat food which I love and tootsie rolls in sand down there too. Scarlett was exploring one of the kitties and I guess got too close like I did one time...that kitty scratched Scarlett on her eyelid and even made her bleed! I ran up when I heard the commotion and separated the two of them because that's my job and she's my little sister, even though she's super annoying most of the time. I made that kitty run off and then made sure Mom came to care of Scarlett's bleeding. I was a HERO. I do that a lot at home when our own kitties get into fights and stuff. HERO. That's me!

I'm Famous!

Check me out! I don't know how she found me but she did and now I have my very own limerick!!!
Thank you, Karen Jo and kitties all around!

I hurted my back recently. I don't remember how but I've been wobbling around with my tail tucked under for several days and MomDad took me to the ManDogDoctor yesterday. She poked on my back and it hurt in one place and made me yelp in pain. So she sent me home with medicine that mom sneaks into cheese and I pretend not to notice. It just makes me sleepy. I'm supposed to take it for four more days and then see how I feel. RIght now I feel crummy (except for the exciting news up above!) so mostly I just lay around and sleep. MomDad are taking great care of me. Scarlett doesn't understand why I won't play with her right now. I did try to play Tug with her earlier today to save Mom from getting her arm ripped off (she was playing with Scarlett on my behalf) but it hurted my back too much so I went back to sleep in my cave bed.

I'll let you know how I'm doing in a couple more days. Thanks for the limerick!

Confession

Hi.

Sorry it's been so terribly long since I last posted here. I have a confession to make that might help you understand why I haven't been blogging.

As you know, my Mom is real sick. I guess it's not the kind of sickness that goes away after you take some nasty medicines from the babydoctor either because she's been sick for many months. And she goes and gets medicines every week or so and then comes home and feels crummy for a long time. She doesn't have a lot of energy most of the time so she can't take me to the dog park or for walks or very much of anything most days. Usually, we just lay around together and I try to guard the front door from intruders that might want to come in.

So my confession is this...Mom types my blog entries for me. Because...well...truth be told...I cannot type. I don't know how. My fingers don't spread apart enough to press the buttons right. So I have my mom type while I dictate what I want her to say on my behalf. And we all just pretend that it came from me anyway. It's always been a nice arrangement until lately when Mom just doesn't feel good enough to type for me. I can understand that. It's not like she doesn't get out at all. She's not bedridden all the time or anything. Sometimes she and Dad go out to dinner or shopping. In fact, a couple weeks ago, MomDad loaded me and Scarlett in the car and we drove all the way to Santa Fe for a few days! That was so much fun! And then MomDad had to stay at the hospital overnight one night so we got to stay at the Dog Hotel at Petsmart! That was fun!

Anyway, since Mom has to maintain her own blog on an almost daily basis, she doesn't have a lot of energy left to take pictures and help me type my own blog. We'll try very hard to do it more often though...maybe Dad could help out, too. I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted here! Jeeesh! Sorry about that.

So keep checking back. Eventually I can tell you all about my adventures chasing squirrels in the back yard and stuff. Take care!

Diaries

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I do keep a diary. But it's not sappy or stupid. It's a totally ManDogly account of my daily life and my favorite things that happen in it. Check out one of my most recent entires:

8:00 a.m.--Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m.-- A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am.-- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.--got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m.--Lunch ! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m.-- Played in the Yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 p.m.-- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m.-- Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m.--got to play ball ! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m.-- Wow!! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 p.m. Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Well today as I was rummaging through some stuff that I found, I discovered a page from another diary. It looks like a cat wrote it. I think it's Brudder's handwriting! Looksee:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!! there was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow---but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released-- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. the bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now......

P.S. These are not really from my house. I gotted them from a email I gotted today from a friend. Sorry but I thought it would be funny to put on my blog today.

Rating my Humans

Hi! My buddy Deefor read a book about how to rate some things about other dogs. He decided to apply it to his MomDad which I thought was pretty cool. Then he asked us readers how we would rate our peoples. That sounds like fun. I'm going to rate my MomDad and Scarlett too.

Mom's a Herding dog, I think. She's always making sure everyone's where they should be and what they should be doing on time. She's a lil bossy.
Dominance- High. Like I said, she's kinda bossy. But she is NOT the boss of me. Sometimes I choose to not listen to her commands.
Intelligence- High. She reads a lot and has lots of opinions.
Emotions- High! Mad, happy, crying...I can't keep up but I'm always there to help out (unless she's mad, then you can find me in another room)
Sociability- Very friendly. She's always having friends over who let me lick and jump on them. She chooses good friends.
Energy- Variable. Usually higher in the mornings. Likes mid-afternoon naps like we dogs do.

Dad's a Retriever. Always going to get stuff for me or mom or Scarlett. Kind of Sporting, too. He plays a lot of video games.
Dominance- High. He's the boss of me. My AlphaDog. What Dad says GOES. But I don't think this applies to Mom so much.
Intelligence- High. He's the smartest dad I know! A great problem solver.
Emotions- Moderate. He's mostly tough like me who is a ManDog but sometimes he gets soft and sweet with Mom. Yuck.
Sociability- High. He also has lots of friends and is very friendly with strangers even.
Energy- Variable. Dad works hard at his job so when he's home he's usually tired and likes to rest or do restfully fun things like watch movies or play videogames. Which is alright with me since he's the best lap ever to sleep on!

And now for Scarlett. They say she's a Terrier but I think that's just the french way of saying "Terror."
Dominance- High. She doesn't always listen to MomDad. Sometimes she will listen to Mom more than Dad though. And when we play Smackdown she's usually pretty dominant over me by climbing over my body and whacking me sideways with her whole butt.
Intelligence- High. She finds things in the yard that I guess have always been there but I never knew it before! And she's very selective in who she will listen to and when.
Emotions- Low. Well, she's hyper most of the time but sometimes she likes to stop and cuddle with Mom a lot. Sort of like a split personality. Does that mean high or low on this emotional scale?
Sociability- High. Like me, she loves other people. But she hasn't had much exposure to other dogs since she graduated from Puppy Preschool so when she hears or sees other dogs or strangers while on walks, she barks like a loco dog. I don't know what's wrong with her.
Energy- HIGH HIGH HIGH! She's almost ALWAYS going and for someone with just a little stump of a tail, she's always wagging it and going crazy!

Thanks, Deefor! That was fun!

I Been a Busy Boy

Whew. I have been really busy lately. So much is going on in my life and there's not been a lot of time to take and upload pictures. So, you'll just have to settle for the written description instead.

We dogs had fun at GrandpaDave's in the country, chasing the goats and birds and other dogs and stuff. We all got to go to the airport with him to pick up MomDad but I was the only dog allowed to run around the car while he was driving - the girls had to stay in their kennels while I helped GrandpaDave drive and chew gum.

We got back at home with MomDad and it was nice to be home, napping on my couch, humping my monkey in my own room, sleeping in my own bed next to my own Dad.

A few days later, Mom told us that Ophelia was going to live with GrandpaDave! LUCKY! That's so not fair. I should go there since I am the ManDog. But Mom said that Ophelia wasn't very happy and wasn't fitting in here with me and Scarlett and the kitties and that GrandpaDave would be so very happy if she went to live with him. When she put it that way, I started to understand. Ophelia would just bark and bark all the time and run away from Scarlett and wouldn't play with toys or anything. And then she started doing something even too gross for me! She started eating her poos! YUCK! Mom said it was because she was nervous and unhappy at our house but that doesn't make sense to me...if you're nervous and unhappy, just dig through the trash or shred some kleenexes or whine until you feel better - don't eat your poos! Nasty.

So Ophi's been at GrandpaDave's for a few days now and I hear that she's very happy there. She plays and guards the house with the Great Pyranees dogs, Xena and Bear, and shares GrandpaDave's lap with his kitties. I'm glad she's happy there. I hope I can still visit and play with her sometimes.

You're probably wondering how Scarlett felt about Ophelia moving away? Yeah...she barely even noticed. The only thing she noticed was that half of "her" new toys had disappeared (when Ophelia came to our house she brought her giant basket of toys that Scarlett immediately claimed as her own). Scarlett's too hyper to notice much, really.

We've been working hard on Squirell Patrol in our yard lately. There are three now that taunt us by jumping from the fences to the trees in our yard and flapping their tails at us annoyingly. We just bark and jump and try to figure out how to yank him down so we can catch them.

Well, Mom has started going to her own BabyDoctor to get some medicine put in her every two weeks. She says she might be pretty tired for a long time so I'm going to have to help her out and keep the squirrels away from her a lot. I might not have much time for blogging. But I'll keep checking your blogs and you keep checking back here from time to time. Check out mom's other blog if you want to know what's going on with her.

See ya!

Busy Vacation

*pant pant* *pant pant* *pant pant*
I am very busy at GrandpaDave's. There is so much to do! He has 60 acres for us to patrol and lots of birds and goats and stuff. I don't have time to talk about it all because I need to get back to sniffing out this new coyote. Here's GrandpaDave's account (he started calling us the Wild Dogs):

Dobby doesn’t like to eat when he comes to my house. Ophi is a little that way too and all three don’t like eating out the bowls. BUT—I noticed that they are all over me when I am eating and if I drop a crumb or two they are on it like stink on a skunk. So--- we invented a new and very exciting eating technique that everyone (all wild dogs that is) eagerly participate in. I swept my kitchen floor first. Then when it is time for them to eat, I spread two hand full’s of their food across the clean floor and they vacuum it in seconds. They think they are getting a find – it brings out the wild dog hunting instincts and it is fun. Oh – I also get freshly polished floors. As I type this, they are dining on the floor of the deck. Now this is a real wild dog hunt as it is outside and I spread a lot of food in all directions so they have to hunt for it and they do—then they can go down the stairs and hunt for real wild things to put in their mouths and recycle in nature. Happy wild dogs. Xena and Bear usually joins the pack and then they all run around the house a time or two and up and down the hill to the barn and back… Dobby will go to the fence and stare at the goats and when they get irritated at that they charge the fence in a mock attack. Dobby backs off and barks. Scarlett looks on with amazement and Ophi runs to the top of the deck stairs and calls out the game like a sports announcer.

There is a real wild dog, a coyote, that has been hunting mice all day in the hay field and every once in a while Xena or Bear catches his sent and come charging around the house and bark at the coyote. Then the wild dogs come to their support and start barking here in the house. They look a little confused and embarrassed when I ask them if they know why they are barking. Now when they are outside on the deck – they seem to sent the coyote to and actually know why they are barking and they look out across the field and just dare the coyote to come into the yard. You know how tough Dobby thinks he is and especially with Bear and Xena backing him up. Tough guy.

I just asked the pack if they wanted to go with me tomorrow to pick you guys up [at the airport] and IMMEDATELY Ophi barked twice and Dobby headed for the garage door. Scarlett just ran with Dobby running circles around him as they both traversed the house. So it was two votes for and one abstention. The wild pack will be with me when we pick you up.

Here We Are!

Check us out! Chillin' at GrandpaDave's...

On Vacation

MomDad had to leave town to go to some fancy hospital to help Mom get not-so-sick. So we packed me, Scarlett and Ophelia up and headed out to GrandpaDave's! Here's an update from Grandpa Dave after our ride to his house:

Somebody pooped in Dobby’s kennel on the drive from your house to my house. It couldn’t possibly be one of your dogs as they all did DOGS-OUT for quite a while while I was loading dog food and the toy bag in my car. They in fact were out there so long that Ophelia was barking and barking terribly annoyed at my lack of service in letting her back in. Anyway, Dobby got a short bath – from the belly down and the kennel cleaned out and the bed is in the washer as we I type this. Scarlet got slapped right away by Lacy (cat) but there has been a short truce declared. Bob and Kendal (other cats) are now where to be found.

I introduced the troop to Bear and Xena (two Great Pyranees dogs). Xena got a head ache and retreated to Xena Hill. She came down a little later to pee on a spot that Scarlet peed on a few minutes ago. Dobby ran out of pee. He peed his way all the way around the house trying to mark higher than Bear does but to no avail. You know, it just isn’t fair. Bear's belly is higher off the ground than Dobby’s ear tips. But anyway, Dobby tried. After getting over the shock, Bear kept trying to get a game of chase or jump or just anything with Dobby but Dobby was too busy trying to pee higher and higher. Bear is very excited to have play partners.

Right now, there is a small dog in every part of the down stairs as they check out the new territory and all the smells. Dobby IMMEDIATELY went to where the cat bowl usually is but I had outsmarted him and put it up before leaving this afternoon. He dug something out of the wood box by the fireplace to chew on. He coughed a couple of times but by the time I got over there he either swallowed it or spit it our some place. I just heard a tenitive ‘woof’ from Scarlet in the family room. I be she has Bob or Lacy ‘treed’ under one of the coffee or end tables.

This is going to be fun!

And then this morning:

Well the night was uneventful mainly because I had your pack spend the night in their kennels. The cats had all disappeared and the dogs were hyper. Now we are sitting on the deck with the stairs blocked so no one can go down to eat bird poop that seems to be available for the tasty treat that Dobby seems to think it is. We had social time earlier with Bear and Xena. Xena is curious but reserved. Bear wants to get a game going but these little dogs move too fast for him. When he tries to incite a game – suddenly the small dog runs under him and is on his back side. He can’t move that fast and gets confused especially because there are three of them and they are EVERYWHERE! Everyone got a giant (Great Pyrenees size) dog cookie (milk bone) a few minutes ago. Dobby and Scarlet snarfed theirs down but Ophelia is delicately savoring hers. Scarlet keeps volunteering to help her with it but so far she is hording hers and not sharing. We are hanging on the deck, alternately barking at the emu, the goats, other things unseen and wanting to get back in the house. Lacy is inside the door giving the evil eye to all three of our guests and Bob is up on the counter looking very worried. Kendal is holed up in the basement just daring any of them to come down to her liar.

SCARLET JUST POOPED!!!! GOOD SCARLET!

New Stuff

Mom got us dogs a new bed last night. It looks really comfy and cozy. But Nala and Ariel have hogged the bed from me already! I got about three minutes in there this morning and then Ariel came by and bullied me out! They've been like this ever since:
And now Scarlett is barking and whining at them to get them out. I guess she wants a turn. I don't think she'll get it. Keep tryin', sis!

Speaking of Scarlett, she spent a whole day at the BabyDoctor last week and came home with this satellite on her head. She sort of freaks me out when she comes at me with the dish so I just run the other direction. I wonder if she spent the whole day at the BabyDoctor getting that thing permanently attached to her head? Yuck. We might need to get her a second opinion.
Ophelia is adjusting well at our house. She doesn't like Scarlett much but especially not now that Scarlett has that radar dish on her head. They've been trying to sleep near each other sometimes. Here they are on the couch the other day:
And here's a funny thing! I caught Scarlett winking at me the other day. Who knew she was so talented!

Grammy

My Grammy went away forever last week. MomDad are really really sad and Mom's crying all the time. Lots of new people have been coming and going and Ophelia has come to live with us. I'm not sure where my Grammy went yet but Ophelia says she's in a good place where there is lots of puppy treats. That's good. Grammy always loved giving us puppy treats.
Apparently, there is a party at our house tomorrow afternoon for Grammy so I'll be very busy greeting people, being adored and begging for snacks. I'll try to post more again as soon as I can.

Revoked the Prize

Bad news. I guess the place where MomDad were getting their prize from decided not to give it to them after all. Dad says they are called the Stork Company and they reneged on their deal. That sucks. Mom's really sad right now but she's giving me and Scarlett lots of kisses and loves because it makes her feel better. She's a good Mom.

It snowed here yesterday! Yuck! It's so cold and it hurts my footses. But it sure was funny to watch Scarlett with her first encounter with snow! She ran and romped in it like a crazy pup and then barked at a tree for 10 minutes after a clump of snow fell off it and scared her. She's a loon! But today the sun is shining which makes the snow in the yard nice and crusty on the top. That's when I like to go out and explore while trying to stay afloat on top of the snow instead of sinking in deep. It's very hard work and it takes a lot of concentration but I'm pretty good at it. I only fall in every other step or so.

Today is trash day on our street. I hate trash day. Those big trucks sound like Thunderboomers to me. Here comes one now! I have to go hide behind the recliners. See ya!

An Interview from Poppy!

My pal Poppy asked me some interview questions the other day and, after giving them a lot of thinking, here are my answers!

1) How do you feel about this test your parents passed? What do you think their prize will be?
I don't really care much about the tests my parents passed. I mean, I'm proud of them and glad that the "studying" is finally over so I don't get kicked off the bed so much anymore. But nothing has really changed for me. Except, now that you mention it, Mom has been more irritable lately and she doesn't let me walk on top of her anymore. Hmmm. I am not convinced that they will actually get a prize for winning this test, unless it's being shipped and is taking a couple weeks to get here. Everyone knows the best prizes are ones that you get right away, especially in the form of a tasty treat of some kind. Maybe that's what it is...a tasty treat. I hope it's turkey flavored. Yum!

2) You and Scarlett look pretty cozy in some of your pictures. What is it like having a sister? Would you recommend it to a friend?
Welllllllllll....mostly it's kinda cool having a sister now. She's fun to play with and chase around the house and the yard. And since she came here, there are more treats being offered and more toys to horde. She's kind of annoying because when I take her bones away from her, she just stands there and barks at me while I am trying to chew on them. Plus she grabs my ManCollar with her teeths and pulls me around until I submit and play with her (usually resulting in a game of Chase). But she helps me on Squirrel Patrol in the yard and I'm enjoying teaching her when to bark and whine to get what you want from MomDad. I would recommend it to a friend, although be sure to tell your MomDad exactly what kind of sibling you want. For me, I knew I wanted a girl dog that wasn't going to be much bigger than me (so I wouldn't get stepped on) and who would let me remain the AlphaDog (that lasted all of about 2 seconds but 2 out of 3 requirements is good enough for me!). So shop around on the internet at dogs. That's what I did.

3) How would you describe the perfect day? What would you do?
Well, I would wake up and get in the car and go straight to MyLindsay's house to pick her up. Then she'd get in the backseat with me and feed me CheeToes while MomDad drive us to Grandma's house. Grandma would have a full dishwasher with all sorts of freshly-dirtied dishes for me to clean and she'd open it and pull out the drawers of dishes as soon as I arrived. Bailey would not be there. He'd be at his Doggie Day Care while I was visiting. Their pantry door would be left open (again!) so that when I am done cleaning the dishes, I could help myself to Bailey's dog treats and food. I would drink all of his water. I would take all of his toys out of his basket and chew on them for about 10 minutes each. Then we'd all get in the car again (this time, Grandma would come with us) and we'd go to MeatManBill's house. Oh, and it's Thanksgiving day, too. At MeatManBill's house there will be a zillion people all standing around eating lots of food. I would, as usual, make my rounds from room to room, begging turkey, stuffing, and other sorts of foods from everyone I could get my paws on. Then I'd ask MeatManBill's dog Rocky to show me where the trash can is and then have him pull out some tasty bits from it for me to enjoy. Then I would find a soft bed to sleep on for a couple of hours. Eventually, I would have MomDad take me home so I could hump my monkey until it's time to go to bed. Scarlett would not be around all day. It would be heaven. Ahhhhh.

4) What is the weather like where you live? Do you have to wear jackets and stuff? Are you pro- or anti-jacket?
Sometimes it's very nice weather. For a few months now it's been warm and sunny. I like to go plop in the yard and bask in the sun for hours on end (working on my tan). But lately I've felt a nip in the air. I think it's going to get cold again soon. That means I'll be shivering at the door and only pooping on the porch because the snow is too deep for me to walk on in the yard. I do have a ski jacket with pockets on the back but I hate wearing it because it makes it hard to pee. HA! Just wait till Scarlett sees the snow! She is going to FREAK OUT! I can't wait!

5) This one is for Scarlett: How did you learn how to climb over your ex-pen? Are you part monkey?
I teached myself to climb out of jail. I don't do it anymore tho. Just that one time. Now MomDad only put me in there when it's time to eat (it's called FOODJAIL) so that Dobby doesn't steal my yummy foods and I don't steal his either. They do put the jail up to keep me from going upstairs when everyone's downstairs and that's usually alright with me because there is lots to do downstairs anyway. I am not part monkey. Yuck. If I was part monkey, Dobby would hump me and that would be nasty. Yuck. Don't even ask me that.

She Passed!

Well, after a few months of studying and taking mini-tests, MomDad finally passed their Baby Test!
That is a picture of two lines that means they passed the test.

I am very proud of my MomDad for working so hard at passing this test and now Dad says there will be lots of interesting foods in the house in the coming months. I can't wait to smell and beg for those!

They're both very excited about it but I'm not sure what they won for passing. I don't see any money or trophy or anything. Dad says, "Just wait and see."

Okay. Now I'm waiting...

A Game For You

My friend Poppy tagged everyone who's name ends with a "Y" to play this game with her so here I go:

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Monkey Toyota
2. YOUR GANGSTER NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Soygurt AllCookies
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Black Monkey
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Doodlebug LaGrange (I don't have a middle name so I used my nickname instead. And MomDad say I was born in LaGrange, Wyoming but I know for real I came from Tijuana Mexico)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Kel Do
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Blue Water (yuck)
7. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Dave Frank
8. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Eau de Blech Greenies
9. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Ann Franklin (HEY! THAT MAKES ME A GIRL! NO WAY!)
10.TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)

Maria Montgomery (I didn't make it past Preschool so I'm using my Puppy Preschool teacher's name from four years ago instead)
11. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Thanksgiving Uhh-Flowers-Make-Me-Sneeze
12. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Kumquat Collary
13. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
I am boycotting my food right now because I'm holding out for MomDad to put water on my foods to make it taste better like they do for Scarlett (even though they say they're doing it because her baby teefs are coming out and crunching her foods hurts her teefs...whatever). And I don't even like trees because A) they block out the sun that warms my tummy and B) they allow the squirrels easy escapes from my attacks. Guess I won't have a hippy name then. Harumph.
14. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your favorite hobby/craft, favorite weather element + “Tour”)
The Humping Monkey Sunshine Tour (YEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!)

Next, I will tag you if you like monkeys.

What's been Goin' On

Things have settled down a little bit here at home. Grammy came over for a few days last week and brought her dog and another dog she is fostering with her. Her dog is Ophelia and she's not annoying or anything. Pretty mellow for the most part and leaves my stuff alone. Here is Ophelia, Scarlett and me enjoying some Chill Time on the chair.
But then Grammy also brought this little guy named Spike over and he is a sausage dog! He barks and whines a lot and thinks he's a big tough guy but he's not really. He followed Grammy around like a lost puppy and did not like being left alone with us three other dogs in the backyard for very long. I really enjoyed smelling him. He eats interesting things and has been to interesting places. We all went to the BarkPark together and terrorized some Great Danes that thought they were tougher than us.
Scarlett is still going to Puppy Preschool and learning how to not be so dumb and obnoxious. I guess she's really smart after all. Mom hasn't been able to do their homework together all week so she and Dad were cramming it all in this morning and Scarlett picked up right away. She's getting really good at Sit, then Down and then Sit again. She's having trouble with loose leash walking I guess. She gets lots of treats anyway for doing the other stuff. She's so lucky.
Scarlett and I have been taking very good care of Mom now that Grammy's dogs have gone to their own home. We hold her down on the couch so that she gets good rest like the doctor told her to.
Although sometimes we have to be on patrol and guard the house. This sometimes means we have to bark a lot and I guess Mom doesn't like that when she's trying to take a nap. That's when she makes us go get locked with Dad in another room.
But eventually she wants some fresh air so we take her outside and entertain her by playing Chase and the Plop together in the yard.
We're a pretty good team together, me and Scarlett.

Mom is really sick

Mom is really sick. I guess it's not just a matter of eating too many treats. Go give her lots of licks with me, please. I'm really worried about her.