Friday, September 19, 2008

On the "Go"

Well.

I pretty much Go all the time now. Going is one of my favorite things to do. Here is how to properly Go in my house:
1. Watch MomDad very closely through one eye as you rest with the other eye closed. See if they start moving more quickly and gathering things like jackets, purses, water bottles and especially those jingly thingies by the garage door. OH! When they grab those jinglies that's when you know that Going is soon to follow!

2. If you see all that, wake your other eye up (the one that was closed and resting), jump off the couch (or sleeping place of your choice), run to the edge of the carpet just in front of the garage door and sit like a Very Good Boy.

3. Use your very best MomDad Can I Go Stare with your eyes and try to look Pathetic with the rest of your body. (I can't tell you how. It just comes naturally to me.)

4. If MomDad start talking to you in a friendly way be very careful. It could be a trick. They could be saying you're a Good Boy just for Sitting there like that but they may still not let you Go with them. That's pretty bad trickery and they think they're being Nice must mostly it's Cruel and Mean to do that.

5. Now this is when you should watch Mom very carefully. When Mom cocks her head just so and bats her eyelashes at Dad saying things that sound like begging (listen hard for something that starts with P and ends in Lease), that's a Very Good Sign! Keep it up. Maybe throw in a little Prance in a circle and then Sit back down like a Good Boy again! Or saunter over to Dad and nudge him lovingly, reminding him that you are his Favorite ManDog and then go back to that Sitting thing again.

6. At this point, they will probably be heading towards the door, cramming their bodies in the small "hallway" in front of the door. When you hear or see one of their hands on the handle, THAT'S THE TIME! STAY PUT! DO NOT BE A BADBOY! Stay Sitting and do not be a BadBoy! Just wait. It's out of your paws now...

7. If MomDad say something like, "Okay!" or "Let's Go!" or whatever your MomDad say to release you from your VeryGoodBoy Sitting pose (I have good schooling), then take off like a bat out of hell and race under their feet and into the garage. Be Very Fast in case they change their minds at the last minute.

8. Throughout all of this, if you have an Annoying Little Sister bouncing and trouncing around you the whole time, ignore her. Just pretend she doesn't exist. Tell her to back off if she is crowding you but don't be too Mean as to make MomDad get Mad and make you stay at home to work it out with your Little Sister. Ignore. Best advice I can give you.
So, like I said, I pretty much Go all the time now. Like for instance I Go'ed twice this week. It never really matters where you're Going To, as long as you get to Go. Staying in the car is OK but usually it is best is there are Snacks (aka "That" - I'll post more about That another time) to scavenge from the Front Seat. MomDad put a big barrier between the Front and Back Seats of our car and I don't care much for jumping cause of my sensative armpits so I don't even try to get past it. But Scarlett does. I saw her do it just the other day when we Go'ed. First she sneaked her little sneaker body over by Mom's seatbelt and got to her over her shoulder. Did that to Dad too while he was hanging out with us once in the parking lot (that was the OTHER time I Go'ed last week). But then as we were driving home, Scarlett just jumped right into that barrier thingie and climbed over it (after looking pathetically at Mom for help) and into Mom's lap! I couldn't believe it! The nerve of that crazy dog!

Speaking of HER, do you want to know what she's doing right this minute? Well. She has this HAUUUGE basket full of all her stupid toys in the living room where MomDad removed the coffee table just so she (and maybe me too) could have more room to Play. Well, right now she is climbing into that basket and pulling ALL of her stupid toys out one by one. She pulls one out, takes it a little ways away, shakes it then drops it and trollops back to the basket to repeat the whole shenannigin. How lame. I am lying here on the couch as Mom types up my dictation watching Scarlett Very Closely to see if she gets out any toys that I might want to play with or steal from her or whatever. Oooo! Look!! She's got BigBird! Gotta Go!!!!.......

4 comments:

Daisy said...

Oh Dobby, I am glad you get to Go almost all the time now! That sounds very, very fun.

Ophie said...

Good job Dobby. I have another technique that works for me -- when I see Dad getting ready to go, I bark hysterically. He gets mad but I just keep it up all the while running with him toward the door. He usually relents and lets me Go. I act real cute once in the car and sit and stare at him adoringly while he turns that thing called a steering wheel. This reinforces his need for my affection so he takes me more.

Ophie

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dog diapers said...

Hi Dobby,I have another technique that functions for me -- when I see Dad planning to go, I trash hysterically.