Diaries

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I do keep a diary. But it's not sappy or stupid. It's a totally ManDogly account of my daily life and my favorite things that happen in it. Check out one of my most recent entires:

8:00 a.m.--Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m.-- A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am.-- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.--got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m.--Lunch ! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m.-- Played in the Yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 p.m.-- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m.-- Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m.--got to play ball ! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m.-- Wow!! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 p.m. Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Well today as I was rummaging through some stuff that I found, I discovered a page from another diary. It looks like a cat wrote it. I think it's Brudder's handwriting! Looksee:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!! there was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow---but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released-- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. the bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now......

P.S. These are not really from my house. I gotted them from a email I gotted today from a friend. Sorry but I thought it would be funny to put on my blog today.

Rating my Humans

Hi! My buddy Deefor read a book about how to rate some things about other dogs. He decided to apply it to his MomDad which I thought was pretty cool. Then he asked us readers how we would rate our peoples. That sounds like fun. I'm going to rate my MomDad and Scarlett too.

Mom's a Herding dog, I think. She's always making sure everyone's where they should be and what they should be doing on time. She's a lil bossy.
Dominance- High. Like I said, she's kinda bossy. But she is NOT the boss of me. Sometimes I choose to not listen to her commands.
Intelligence- High. She reads a lot and has lots of opinions.
Emotions- High! Mad, happy, crying...I can't keep up but I'm always there to help out (unless she's mad, then you can find me in another room)
Sociability- Very friendly. She's always having friends over who let me lick and jump on them. She chooses good friends.
Energy- Variable. Usually higher in the mornings. Likes mid-afternoon naps like we dogs do.

Dad's a Retriever. Always going to get stuff for me or mom or Scarlett. Kind of Sporting, too. He plays a lot of video games.
Dominance- High. He's the boss of me. My AlphaDog. What Dad says GOES. But I don't think this applies to Mom so much.
Intelligence- High. He's the smartest dad I know! A great problem solver.
Emotions- Moderate. He's mostly tough like me who is a ManDog but sometimes he gets soft and sweet with Mom. Yuck.
Sociability- High. He also has lots of friends and is very friendly with strangers even.
Energy- Variable. Dad works hard at his job so when he's home he's usually tired and likes to rest or do restfully fun things like watch movies or play videogames. Which is alright with me since he's the best lap ever to sleep on!

And now for Scarlett. They say she's a Terrier but I think that's just the french way of saying "Terror."
Dominance- High. She doesn't always listen to MomDad. Sometimes she will listen to Mom more than Dad though. And when we play Smackdown she's usually pretty dominant over me by climbing over my body and whacking me sideways with her whole butt.
Intelligence- High. She finds things in the yard that I guess have always been there but I never knew it before! And she's very selective in who she will listen to and when.
Emotions- Low. Well, she's hyper most of the time but sometimes she likes to stop and cuddle with Mom a lot. Sort of like a split personality. Does that mean high or low on this emotional scale?
Sociability- High. Like me, she loves other people. But she hasn't had much exposure to other dogs since she graduated from Puppy Preschool so when she hears or sees other dogs or strangers while on walks, she barks like a loco dog. I don't know what's wrong with her.
Energy- HIGH HIGH HIGH! She's almost ALWAYS going and for someone with just a little stump of a tail, she's always wagging it and going crazy!

Thanks, Deefor! That was fun!