Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Diaries

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I do keep a diary. But it's not sappy or stupid. It's a totally ManDogly account of my daily life and my favorite things that happen in it. Check out one of my most recent entires:
8:00 a.m.--Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m.-- A car ride!
My favorite thing!
9:40 am.-- A walk in the park!
My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.--got rubbed and petted!
My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m.--Lunch !
My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m.-- Played in the Yard!
My favorite thing!
3:00 p.m.-- Wagged my tail!
My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m.-- Milk bones!
My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m.--got to play ball !
My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m.-- Wow!! Watched TV with the people!
My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m. Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Well today as I was rummaging through some stuff that I found, I discovered a page from another diary. It looks like a cat wrote it. I think it's Brudder's handwriting! Looksee:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!! there was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow---but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released-- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. the bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now......
P.S. These are not really from my house. I gotted them from a email I gotted today from a friend. Sorry but I thought it would be funny to put on my blog today.

13 comments:

Daisy said...

Hahahahaha! Those two diary entries are hilarious!

Poppy said...

Yes, those are so funny! I have seen those before somewhere too. The dog diary is so perfect--every moment is the best ever!

Poppy

Kimo & Sabi said...

You gots a lot of nice favorite things!

Deefor said...

They are hilarious. Grrreat.

Deefor

Ginger said...

Har har har! That is funny!!!!

Nubbin wags,
Ginger

Kimo & Sabi said...

Just dropped in to say "hi"

Kimo & Sabi said...

Are you still bloggin'? Where has you been?

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Christine and FAZ said...

I think both diary entries show enormous intelligence. FAZ

MommyofTwo said...

OMR that is freaking awesome I have a Chihuahua named Dobby as well he is only like 8 months old this is amazing

Masud Khan said...

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dog diapers said...

Yes, those are so funny! I have seen those before somewhere too. The dog book is so perfect--every time is the best ever...

Topuz SaƧ said...

The informations are so lovely and so usefull so thank you very much. Be sure i will use all of them keeping in my mind.Have a goog luck.