At GrandpaDave's Farm and Resort

Scarlett and I are spending a couple weeks at GrandpaDave's while MomDad are on a much-needed vacation. GrandpaDave helped me write this blog post:

I’m Top Dog — at least in the house. Xena and Bear are way taller than me and G-Pa Dave says something about them weighing over 100 pounds each — BUT in the house I think I am the Alfredo Dog. G-Pa Dave calls me that —- I think —- he says it really fast and I don’t understand it real good. It is something like Alfabet Dog, Alfred Dog, Alfredo Dog, Alfa Dog — I don’t know but I like the sound of Alf redo Dog. That is kinda like being a hero all the time I think with all other dogs having to take orders from me. Real Cool! I wish I could be Alfredo Dog at home but mom says dad is the Alfredo Dog there.
Here at G-Pa Daves I have to break up fights. One of the cats is always picking a fight with Scarlet. She is innocent of all these incidents of course. She is just walking along most of the time real fast and a cat just gets in her way and then the cat cusses/spits at her and sometimes slaps her so she needs to defend herself. She carry’s her teeth concealed so she show them her teeth and cusses back at them real loud (that is when I wake up and realize my help is needed). Then the cat tries to get away and we have to chase it all over the house to punish it for cussing at Scarlet or touching her or what ever. I saw Lacy run faster than I thought any cat could run the first night we were here. It had to do something about who was top of the Foo Chair or Chain, or something like that: cats or dogs and Lacy slapped Scarlet because Scarlet thought it was dogs. Then Lacy tried to run away because she didn’t want to hear the truth and Scarlet had to chase her. I caught up with them in the bathroom where Lacy and Bob were held up in what G-Pa Dave calls ‘Bobs Fort’. Scarlet and Me could only cuss at them and they cussed/spit back — you know how cats do.
It is so much fun exploring G-Pa Daves yard — it is so BIG. Something like 3 acers or akers or something but it has all this really cool things to discover like turkey poo, old bones that Xena and Bear have hidden, bird feathers (kinda taste like furry chicken), and and —- the wild dogs!! There are these wild dogs that G-Pa Dave keeps telling us about. I must scare them off because we don’t ever see them. G-Pa Dave says they live outside the yard fence and if we (Scarlet, not me) go outside the fence they will kill and eat us. I don’t think so — not me of course– I can scare squirrels and cats and other dogs so these so called wild dogs wouldn’t be a match for me — I am a sophisticated city dog and have seen karate on TV when Dad is watching Super Ninja Competition or some. Anyway we all scared these so called wild dogs the other night. G-Pa Dave, Carol, Scarlet, Ophelia and me went out on the deck after dark and all 5 of us howled. We really scared those wild coyote dogs I guess because I still haven’t seen one — maybe they recognized my voice and ran.
Did I mention there is bird poop in the yard just laying there FREE for the tasting– turkey, guinea, and peacock. Scarlet and I tasted a lot of it the first evening we were here. We got sick and threw up.
I get to patrol the yard with the big dogs and bark and back them up when they bark at something. It is so much fun.
The squirrels in Highlands Ranch must have told the squirrels out here that I was coming because they all must have ran away. I can’t find any to discipline. There is something called a skun or skunk that G-Pa Dave talks about sometime. I think it is like a squirrel but it can’t climb trees or fences— it should be easier to catch. I can’t wait to chase one.
Well I gotta go — it is time to bark at the peacock — he likes to stand at the glass door and admire himself in the reflection. I don’t think he should do that.

Later,

Alfredo Dog — DOBBY

---------------a little while later--------------

I AM SO EMBARRESED! It is ALPHA DOG, NOT alfredo dog.
Geeze—

Dobby